My insides all turn to ash, So slow. And blow away as I collapse, So cold.
A black winter been away, From sight. Another darkness over day, That night. And the clouds above move closer, Looking so dissatisfied. But the harvest wind kept blowing, blowing. I used to be my own protection, But not now. Cause my path has lost direction, Somehow.
A black winter cue away, From sight. Another darkness over day, That night. And the clouds above move closer, Looking so dissatisfied. And the ground below grew colder, As they put you down inside. But the harvest wind kept blowing, blowing.
So now you're gone, And I was wrong. I never knew what it was like,
To be alone …
On a Valentine's Day (Foreground, 12x)
I used to be my own protection, But not now. Cause my mind has lost direction, Somehow. (Background, 2x)
You try to find a reason why it all went away And you think of what you could have done different When you thought you were complete You opened up your eyes
When you thought you had it all that's when you lost it If you want to hold onto everything you will fall
You are around chasing things that disappear You can't get enough cuz you want it all When you thought you were ok you opened up your eyes
When you thought you had it all that's when you lost it If you want to hold onto everything you will fall
When you thought you had it all that's when you lost it If you want to hold onto everything you will fall
When you thought you had it all that's when you lost it If you want to hold onto everything you will fall
Wake in a sweat again Another day's been laid to waste In my disgrace Stuck in my head again Feels like I'll never leave this place There's no escape
I'm my own worst enemy
I've given up, I'm sick of feeling Is there nothing you can say? Take this all away, I'm suffocating Tell me what the fuck is wrong with me
I don't know what to take Thought I was focused, but I'm scared I'm not prepared I hyperventilate Looking for help, somehow, somewhere And no one cares
I'm my own worst enemy
I've given up, I'm sick of feeling Is there nothing you can say? Take this all away, I'm suffocating Tell me what the fuck is wrong with me
Put me out of my misery! Put me out of my misery! Put me out of my Put me out of my fucking misery!
I've given up, I'm sick of feeling Is there nothing you can say? Take this all away, I'm suffocating Tell me what the fuck is wrong with me
I dreamed I was missing You were so scared But no one would listen Cuz no else cared After my dreaming I woke with this fear What am I leaving When I'm done here So if you're asking me I want you to know
When my time comes Forget the world what I've done Help me leave behind some Reasons to be next Don't resent me When you're feeling empty Keep me in your memory Leave out all the rest Leave out all the rest
Don't be afraid I've taken my beating I've shared what I made I'm strong on the surface Not all the way through I've never been perfect But neither have you So if you're asking me I want you to know
Forgetting All the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well Pretending Someone else can come and save me from myself I can't be who you are
Forgetting All the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well Pretending Someone else can come and save me from myself I can't be who you are I can't be who you are
Memories missed of a time gone by Suddenly forgot now I remember why It fell apart cause you broke my heart Wasn't too smart couldn't see you depart The times we had now they're gone forever It all came too an end what for whatever A picture of you like a blast from the past Reminds me that you were the one to stop caring last
Voices inside of me tells me to be gone I needed to be free but you held me in your palm I'm free to do as I will I'm free I'm free to remain I am free
Now the barrel is pointed at you Reach double gloss show what you can do
Point your finger on someone else Blame anyone just to save yourself Even less than what I have on my chest As im with you now im not impressed All i need now is some fresh air to breathe This room is choking me with egwoine greed
I'm free to do as I will I'm free I'm free to remain why does all stupidity call it what you will (call it what you will) i've been through therapy
im free to do as I will im free to remain im free to do as I will im free to remain.
The microphone molester, machete undresser Stupid dope fresh type shit resurrector Top Gun miramar Best-of-the-bester The leave an Emcee peace-in-rester The skill tester, the flex, the gunner The make funner, the adversary make runner Make summer cold with rhymes I spit And kick gift to lifted delinquent wit I be the prophet; my hands, top it, stop it Fly like rocky when I rock it Lock it down with this perverse verse Every f**kin curse a burst of hurt Move crowds, physical fitness rhymes Cokeheads couldn't do my lines I'm decorated like Christmas pines My battalion rocks; Emcees become silhouettes in shock
Reading my eyes will say it in many ways Losing my pride will save it in many days
Hit the dirt, 'cause the words I spit Will do more than just rip your shirt I'll bitch-slap your soul, contact the track control You're coming at me and can't hack it though So ridiculous, watching my crew get sick with this Wickedness, pitchin this, lyrical viciousness Of crews and cliques, made of men and mistresses This is my life: the twilight and the fight night And trying to see nothing but the highlights when I write These eyes on horizons, die for my song, cry rhymes in Krylon Fire on, move men telekinetically Esoterically beat-speaking with clarity Feel my verities, heroism of heresy And sever every emcee I see with severity
Reading my eyes will say it in many ways Losing my pride will save it in many days
Why not... what I came... Why not... what I came...
Why not give me what I came to deserve? Why not give me what I came to believe? Why not give me what I came to deserve? Why not give me what I came to believe?
Reading my eyes will say it in many ways Losing my pride will save it in many days
Yea here we go for the hundredth time, Hand grenade pins in every line, Throw 'em up and let something shine. Going out of my f**king mind. Filthy mouth, no excuse. Find a new place hang this noose. String me up from atop these roofs. Knot it tight so I won't get loose. Truth is you can stop and stare, Bled myself out and no one cares. Dug a trench out, laid down there With a shovel up out to reach somewhere. Yea someone pour it in, Make it a dirt dance floor again. Say your prayers and stomp it out, When they bring that chorus in.
I bleed it out, Digging deeper just to throw it away. I bleed it out, Digging deeper just to throw it away. I bleed it out, Digging deeper just to throw it away, Just to throw it away, Just to throw it away.
I bleed it out. Go, stop the show. Choppy words and a sloppy flow. Shotgun opera, lock and load, Cock it back and then watch it go. Mama help me, I've been cursed, Death is rolling in every verse. Candypaint on his brand new hearse. Can't contain him, he knows he works F**k this hurts, I won't lie. Doesn't matter how hard I try. Half the words don't mean a thing, And I know that I won't be satisfied. So why, try ignoring him. Make it a dirt dance floor again. Say your prayers and stomp it out, When they bring that chorus in.
I bleed it out, Digging deeper just to throw it away. I bleed it out, Digging deeper just to throw it away. I bleed it out, Digging deeper just to throw it away, Just to throw it away, Just to throw it away.
I bleed it out. I've opened up these scars, I'll make you face this. I pulled myself so far, I'll make you face this now.
I bleed it out, Digging deeper just to throw it away. I bleed it out, Digging deeper just to throw it away. I bleed it out, Digging deeper just to throw it away, Just to throw it away, Just to throw it away.
I bleed it out, Digging deeper just to throw it away. I bleed it out, Digging deeper just to throw it away. I bleed it out, Digging deeper just to throw it away, Just to throw it away, Just to throw it away.
Your fingers were crossed behind your back before you ever gave me a chance But now I have learned, to trust myself and I don’t need anyone else No one's here to light the candle No one's here to light the way It's something I will have to handle Someday
I’ve got to open up my eyes Find a way to kill the boredom Watch the time go by, now its time for me to get mine.
Out of room out of places hide Backed up in the corner I know I will stay alive
The lights are still on and I am still here there’s nothing left to fear A vision I’ve seen, a fire will burn no longer will I wait my turn. No one's here to light the candle No one's here to light the way It's something I will have to handle my way
I’ve got to open up my eyes Find a way to kill the boredom Watch the time go by, now its time for me to get mine.
Out of room out of places to hide Backed up in the corner I know I will stay alive
Stay alive
This time its time for me to get mine.
Out of room out of places to hide Backed up in the corner still I know I will stay alive.
Yo, peep the style and the kids checking for it The number one question is how could you ignore it We drop right back in the cut over basement tracks With raps that got you backing this up like (rewind that) We’re just rolling with the rhythm Rise from the ashes of stylistic division With this non-stop lyrics of life living Not to be forgotten but still unforgiven But in the meantime there are those Who want to talk this and that so I suppose That it gets to a point where feelings gotta get hurt And get dirty with the people spreading the dirt, it goes
Try to give you warning But everyone ignores me (Told you everything loud and clear) But nobody’s listening Call to you so clearly But you don’t want to hear me (Told you everything loud and clear) But nobody’s listening
I got a heart full of pain Head full of stress Handful of anger held in my chest And everything left’s a waste of time I hate my rhymes but hate everyone else’s more I’m riding on the back of this pressure Guessing that it’s better I can't keep myself together Because all of this stress gave me something to write on The pain gave me something I could set my sights on You never forget the blood, sweat and tears The uphill struggle over years The fear and trash talking and the people it was to And the people that started it just like you
Try to give you warning But everyone ignores me (Told you everything loud and clear) But nobody’s listening Call to you so clearly But you don’t want to hear me (Told you everything loud and clear) But nobody’s listening
I got a heart full of pain Head full of stress Handful of anger held in my chest Uphill struggle, blood, sweat and tears Nothing to gain, everything to fear Heart full of pain, head full of stress Handful of anger held in my chest Uphill struggle, blood, sweat and tears Nothing to gain, everything to fear Heart full of pain (Heart ful of pain...)
Try to give you warning But everyone ignores me (Told you everything loud and clear) But nobody’s listening Call to you so clearly But you don’t want to hear me (Told you everything loud and clear) But nobody’s listening
I got a heart full of pain Head full of stress (Nobody’s listening) Handful of anger held in my chest (Nobody’s listening) Uphill struggle, blood, sweat and tears (Nobody’s listening) Nothing to gain, everything to fear (Nobody’s listening)
(When this began) I had nothing to say And I’d get lost in the nothingness inside of me (I was confused) And I’d let it all out to find That I’m not the only person these things in mind (Inside of me) But all the vacancy the words revealed Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel (Nothing to lose) Just stuck, hollow and alone And the fault is my own and the fault is my own
I want to heal I want to feel what I thought was never real I want to let go of the pain I’ve held so long (Erase all the pain ‘til it’s gone) I want to heal I want to feel like I’m close to something real I want to find something I’ve wanted all along Somewhere I belong...
And I’ve got nothing to say I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face (I was confused) Looking everywhere only to find That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind (So what am I?) What do I have but negativity? ‘Cause I can’t justify the way everyone is looking at me (Nothing to lose) Nothing to gain, hollow and alone And the fault is my own and the fault is my own
I want to heal I want to feel what I thought was never real I want to let go of the pain I’ve held so long (Erase all the pain ‘til it’s gone) I want to heal I want to feel like I’m close to something real I want to find something I’ve wanted all along Somewhere I belong
I will never know myself until I do this on my own And I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed I will never be anything til I break away from me I will break away I’ll find myself today
I want to heal I want to feel what I thought was never real I want to let go of the pain I’ve held so long (Erase all the pain ‘til it’s gone) I want to heal I want to feel like I’m close to something real I want to find something I’ve wanted all along Somewhere I belong
I want to heal I want to feel like I’m somewhere I belong I want to heal I want to feel like I’m somewhere I belong Somewhere I belong
I don’t know who to trust No surprise (Everyone feels so far away from me) Heavy thoughts sift through dust And the lies
Trying not to break but I’m so tired of this deceit Everytime I try to make myself get back up on my feet All I ever think about is this All the tiring time between And how Trying to put my trust in you Just takes so much out of me
Take everything from the inside And throw it all away Cuz I swear for the last time I won’t trust myself with you
Tension is building inside Steadily (Everyone feels so far away from me) Heavy thoughts forcing their way out of me
Trying not to break but I’m so tired of this deceit Everytime I try to make myself get back up on my feet All I ever think about is this All the tiring time between And how Trying to put my trust in you Just takes so much out of me
Take everything from the inside And throw it all away Cuz I swear for the last time I won’t trust myself with you
I won’t waste myself on you! You! You! Waste myself on you! You! You!
I’ll take everything from the inside And throw it all away Cuz I swear for the last time I won’t trust myself with you
Everything from the inside And just throw it all away Cuz I swear for the last time I won’t trust myself with you! You! You!
(I am) a little bit of loneliness A little bit of disregard Handful of complaints But I can’t help the fact That everyone can see these scars (I am) what I want you to want What I want you to feel But it’s like no matter what I do I can’t convince you To just believe this is real (So I) let go watching you Turn your back like you always do Face away and pretend that I’m not But I’ll be here cuz you’re all that I’ve got
I can’t feel the way I did before Don’t turn your back on me I won’t be ignored Time won’t heal this damage anymore Don’t turn your back on me I won’t be ignored
(I am) a little bit insecure A little unconfident Cuz you don’t understand I do what I can But sometimes I don’t make sense (I am) what you never want to say But I’ve never had a doubt It’s like no matter what I do I can’t convice you For once just to hear me out (So I) let go watching you Turn your back like you always do Face away and pretend that I’m not But I’ll be here cuz you’re all that I got
I can’t feel the way I did before Don’t turn your back on me I won’t be ignored Time won’t heal this damage anymore Don’t turn your back on me I won’t be ignored
No Hear me out now! You’re gonna to listen to me Like it or not Right now Hear me out now! You’re gonna listen to me Like it or not Right now!
I can’t feel the way I did before Don’t turn your back on me I won’t be ignored
I can’t feel the way I did before Don’t turn your back on me I won’t be ignored Time won’t heal this damage anymore Don’t turn your back on me I won’t be ignored
I can’t feel... Don’t turn your back on me I won’t be ignored Time won’t heal... Don’t turn your back on me I won’t be ignored
When I pretend everything is what I want it to be I look exactly like what you had always wanted to see When I pretend I can forget about the criminal I am Stealing second after second just cuz I know I can But I can’t pretend this is the way it’ll stay I’m just (trying to bend the truth) I can’t pretend I’m who you want me to be So I’m (lying my way from you)
(No, no turning back now) I wanna be pushed aside So let me go (No, no turning back now) Let me take back my life I’d rather be all alone (No turning back now) Anywhere on my own Cuz I can see (No, no turning back now) The very worst part of you Is me
I remember what they taught to me Remember condescending talk of who I ought to be Remember listening to all of that and this again So I pretended up a person who was fitting in And now you think this person really is me And I’m (trying to bend the truth) The more I push the more I’m pulling away Cuz I’m (lying my way from you)
(No, no turning back now) I wanna be pushed aside So let me go (No, no turning back now) Let me take back my life I’d rather be all alone (No turning back now) Anywhere on my own Cuz I can see (No, no turning back now) The very worst part of you... The very worst part of you Is me
This isn’t what I wanted to be I never thought that what I said Would have you running from me Like this (4x)
You! (No turning back now) I wanna be pushed aside So let me go (No, no turning back now) Let me take back my life I’d rather be all alone (No turning back now) Anywhere on my own Cuz I can see (No, no turning back now) The very worst part of you The very worst part of you Is me
Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe Sometimes I need you to stay away from me Sometimes I’m in disbelief, I didn’t know Somehow I need you to go
Don’t stay Forget our memories Forget our possibilities What you were changing me into Just give me myself back and... Don’t stay Forget our memories Forget our possibilities Take all your faithlessness with you Just give me myself back and... Don’t stay
Sometimes I feel like I’ve trusted you too well Sometimes I just feel like screaming at myself Sometimes I’m in disbelief, I didn’t know Somehow I need to be alone
Don’t stay Forget our memories Forget our possibilities What you were changing me into Just give me myself back and... Don’t stay Forget our memories Forget our possibilities Take all your faithlessness with you Just give me myself back and... Don’t stay
I don’t need you anymore I don’t want to be ignored I don’t need one more day Of you wasting me away I don’t need you anymore I don’t want to be ignored I don’t need one more day Of you wasting me away... With no apologies
Don't stay Forget our memories Forget our possibilities What you were changing me into Just give me myself back and... Don’t stay Forget our memories Forget our possibilities Take all your faithlessness with you Just give me myself back and... Don’t stay (3x)
There are just too many times That people have tried to look inside of me Wondering what I think of you And I protect you out of courtesy Too many times that I’ve held on When I needed to push away Afraid to say what was on my mind Afraid to say what I need to say
Too many things that you’ve Said about me when I’m not around You think having the upper hand Means you’ve got to keep putting me down But I’ve had too many stand-offs with you It’s about as much as I can stand So I’m waiting until the upper hand is mine
One minute you’re on top The next you’re not, watch it drop Making your heart stop Just before you hit the floor One minute you’re on top The next you’re not, missed your shot Making your heart stop You think you won And then it’s all gone
So many people like me Put so much trust in all your lies So concerned with what you think To just say what we feel inside So many people like me Walk on eggshells all day long All I know is that all I want Is to feel like I'm not stepped on There are so many things you say That make me feel you’ve crossed the line What goes up will surely fall And I’m counting down the time Cuz I have so many stand-offs with you It’s about as much as I can stand So I’m waiting until the upper hand is mine
One minute you’re on top The next you’re not, watch it drop Making your heart stop Just before you hit the floor One minute you’re on top The next you’re not, missed your shot Making your heart stop You think you won And then it’s all gone(4x) Now it’s all gone
I know I’ll never trust a single thing you say You knew your lies would divide us but you lied anyway And all the lies have got you floating up above us all But what goes up has got to fall
One minute you’re on top The next you’re not, watch it drop Making your heart stop Just before you hit the floor One minute you’re on top The next you’re not, missed your shot Making your heart stop You think you won And then it’s all gone (4x) Now it’s all gone
It’s easier to run Replacing this pain with something numb It’s so much easier to go Than face all this pain here all alone
Something has been taken From deep inside of me A secret I’ve kept locked away No one can ever see Wounds so deep they never show They never go away Like moving pictures in my head For years and years they’ve played
If I could change, I would Take back the pain, I would Retrace every wrong move that I made, I would If I could stand up and take the blame, I would If I could take all the shame to the grave, I would If I could change, I would Take back the pain, I would Retrace every wrong move that I made, I would If I could stand up and take the blame, I would I would take all my shame to the grave
It’s easier to run Replacing this pain with something numb It’s so much easier to go Than face all this pain here all alone
Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past Bringing back these memories I wish I didn’t have Sometimes I think of letting go And never looking back And never moving forward So there’d never be a past
If I could change, I would Take back the pain, I would Retrace every wrong move that I made, I would If I could stand up and take the blame, I would If I could take all the shame to the grave, I would If I could change, I would Take back the pain, I would Retrace every wrong move that I made, I would If I could stand up and take the blame, I would I would take all my shame to the grave
Just washing it aside All of the helplessness inside Pretending I don’t feel misplaced Is so much simpler than change
It’s easier to run Replacing this pain with something numb It’s so much easier to go Than face all this pain here all alone
It’s easier to run If I could change, I would Take back the pain, I would Retrace every wrong move that I made
It’s easier to go If I could change, I would Take back the pain, I would Retrace every wrong move that I made, I would If I could stand up and take the blame, I would I would take all my shame to the grave
Nothing ever stops all these thoughts And the pain attached to them Sometimes I wonder why this is happening It’s like nothing I can do will distract me When I think of how I shot myself in the back again Cuz from the infinite words I could say I put all the pain you gave to me on display But didn’t realize instead of setting it free I took what I hated and made it a part of me
(It never goes away, never goes away)
And now... You’ve become a part of me (You’ll always be right here) You’ve become a part of me (You’ll always be my fear) I can’t separate (Myself from what I’ve done) Giving up a part of me I’ve let myself become you
Hearing your name, the memories come back again I remember when it started happening I’d see you in every thought I had And then, my thoughts slowly found words attached to them And I knew as they escaped away I was committing myself to them And everyday I regret saying those things Cuz now I see that I took what I hated and made it a part of me
(It never goes away, never goes away)
And now... You’ve become a part of me (You’ll always be right here) You’ve become a part of me (You’ll always be my fear) I can’t separate (Myself from what I’ve done) Giving up a part of me I’ve let myself become you
(Never goes away, never goes away) It never goes away, it never goes away
Get away from me! Give me my space back, you got to just (go) Everything comes down to memories of (you) I’ve kept it in but now I’m letting you (know) I’ve let you go So get away from (me) Give me my space back, you got to just (go) Everything comes down to memories of (you) I’ve kept it in but now I’m letting you (know) I’ve let you go
And now... You’ve become a part of me (You’ll always be right here) You’ve become a part of me (You’ll always be my fear) I can’t separate (Myself from what I’ve done) Giving up a part of me I’ve let myself become you I’ve let myself become you I’ve let myself become lost Inside these thoughts of you Giving up a part of me I’ve let myself become you
Memories consume Like opening the wound I’m picking me apart again You all assume I’m safe here in my room (Unless I try to start again)
I don’t want to be the one The battles always choose Cuz inside I realize That I’m the one confused
I don’t know what’s worth fighting for Or what I have to scream I don’t know why I instigate And say what I don’t mean I don’t know how I got this way I know it’s not alright So I’m breaking the habit... I’m breaking the habit tonight
Clutching my cure I tightly lock the door I try to catch my breath again I hurt much more Than anytime before I had no options left again
I don’t want to be the one The battles always choose Cuz inside I realize That I’m the one confused
I don’t know what’s worth fighting for Or why I have to scream I don’t know why I instigate And say what I don’t mean I don’t know how I got this way I’ll never be alright So I’m breaking the habit... I’m breaking the habit tonight
I’ll paint it on the walls Cuz I’m the one at fault I’ll never fight again And this is how it ends
I don’t know what’s worth fighting for Or why I have to scream But now I have some clarity To show you what I mean I don’t know how I got this way I’ll never be alright So I’m breaking the habit... I’m breaking the habit... I’m breaking the habit...tonight
